How To Live A Satisfied Married Life? October 1, 2007

Everyone has one or the other complaint about married life. Why we are not satisfied with our marriage? Why does a married life feel so dull and compromise? How to change that and live a satisfied married life?

Dissatisfaction- the areas of dissatisfaction in a married relationship

In a marriage, the dissatisfaction may be many areas. It may be that the husband does not help the wife in household chores. The husband may complain that the wife is not helping him in growth of his career. It may have to do with difference of views about spending and saving. It may have to do with education of children? You will hear complain after complain and may wonder how people stay together with so many complaints? For success in married life it is necessary that both partners satisfy each other’s needs. If you are not satisfied, point that out to your partner so that things can be mended in time.

Love- develop love to seal the bond

Do you feel that if you both were left alone on an island for seven days, you would enjoy it? Or you will get bored? How about your self-esteem? Does your beloved make you feel good about yourself? Is his/her focus on your good qualities or sometimes faults? What about you? Are you looking for some signs of weaknesses in certain areas, or are contented and satisfied with the whole package? And how about love? Do you love each other? It is not difficult to love if you decide. Start liking the qualities of your partner. Ignore what irritates you. Listen to love songs together. Go to love spots once in a while. Have candle light dinners. Try to create a romantic atmosphere in your home.

Understanding – Understanding other’s viewpoint helps in many situations. As we have our viewpoint, so do others. Why try to enforce our thoughts on them? Why not at least try and understand what they think and why? If your spouse is angry with you, you need not react immediately. Give some time and think about all the possible reasons and you may find the answer to his/her anger. If at the end you realize that his/her anger was totally unjustified, you chose to forgive and not react angrily.

By CD Mohatta

Keep the Magic Alive with Your Life Partner July 10, 2007

There is a common misconception that the hardest part of a relationship is finding your life partner. Not true! The hard work starts once you have found and committed to that person. Once the ‘honeymoon’ period is over in a relationship it requires you to make a choice to continue to build into the relationship and keep the magic alive.

If your relationship is based on a strong friendship and you have common interests you have something that you can work with straight away. Keeping the magic alive in a relationship needs to be intentional. Take time to think about and plan activities that you can do together to reconnect. Below is a list of activities that you can do daily, weekly, monthly and once a year to keep the magic alive in your life partner relationship.

Take time each day to show your affection for each other. Take time to touch and tell your partner that you love them. Find something about your day that makes you both laugh.

Once a week do something active that lifts your spirits, go for a walk together and spend time discussing your week. Organise a regular date night with your partner. Boost your partner’s self esteem by encouraging them. Write them a note or a card expressing your love and appreciation for them.

Monthly, take time to clear the air of damaging emotions and start fresh in your relationship. Intentionally focus on intimacy. In long term relationships where intimacy is not the priority of both partners in the relationship it can become stale and cause problems if you do not take time to intentionally focus on it.

Once a year in your relationship review your top ten highlights together and in your individual lives. This will reconnect you with your partner on your journey through life. Share your victories and your struggles. Take time to chart the course for the coming year. Set goals together and plan your future.

When you choose to intentionally spend time on your relationship you will reap the rewards. Anything worth doing in life is worth working for and having happy relationships is the key to happiness in life.

By Anita Rossow

Tips On How To Bond With Your Baby June 8, 2007

Would you like to learn simple ways to bond with your baby and form a loving, nurturing attachment to your baby? Others may tell you that you are spoiling your baby or forming an “attached at the hip” relationship that will forever harm your baby.

Be reassured that if you practice the tips presented in this article with love balanced out with your own needs for rest, adult contact and intellectual stimulation, your child will definitely not grow to be forever attached to your hip.

Instead, he or she will grow to be an independent and secure adult, which is at the core of exactly what you as a parent have the responsibility of forming in your child.

These first years of life are when this foundation is laid. A strong, healthy attachment is the key to rearing a secure and independent adult.

As a parent or caregiver you have a lot of things to get done in a 24 hour period of time. There is laundry to do, meals to cook, errands to run and if you care for or have other children, their individual needs must be attended to as well.

Tips for forming a closer bond with your baby:

• Read and talk to your baby: Especially important if it is just you and your baby together for the majority of the time. Reading and talking to your baby helps your baby to understand and trust you. Good early books are picture books with one word descriptions of everyday objects on each page or books with short rhyming patterns.

• Avoid a non-stop chatter for your baby all day long; this can cause your baby to become over-stimulated and tune you out.

• Make reading times routine: Your baby will learn when it is time to listen.

• Play lap games with your baby: Peek-a-boo and patty cake help children develop fine motor skills and object permanence. More important, they provide times of closeness for you and your child.

• Massage your baby: Especially good for babies who get worked up quickly and have a hard time calming down, and for babies who are not able to self-soothe. Don’t wait until he or she is fussy to give a massage. Massage your baby before and after a bath and during diaper changes. Infant massage is an important way to build attachment and soothe fussiness.

• Look at your baby while you are feeding him: This promotes attachment, but it also helps him or her to develop his own sense of identity. When you look into his eyes during a feeding, there is prolonged, intimate contact combined with warmth of being nestled in your arms. Change sides and you give baby a different view of you and help him or her to develop both sides of his brain and body. Of special note here, I observed a very young girl feeding her baby in this very manner, and I thought how beautiful the two of them appeared during those moments of feeding times, and how content they both appeared. Not only does your baby benefit from this close interaction during feeding times, but you will benefit as well.

• Kiss your baby: Kissing is an intimate activity that signals affection toward your baby and helps promote attachment. A kiss from “mommy” can often cure a whole realm of ailments and boo-boos in a baby’s life.

• Talk to your baby when you are out of sight: Often babies become frightened when they realize a parent or caregiver has left the room. This can become frustrating if it happens every time you need to leave the room to answer the phone or to use the bathroom. Start early and you can help alleviate this fear. As you leave the room, talk to your baby about what you are doing or where you are going. Just hearing your voice is reassuring to baby that you are not far away.

• Be there when your baby wakes up: If possible, and you know your child always wakes from a nap at a certain time, make it a habit to occasionally be nearby when he or she wakes up, ready to give a hug and kiss.

Practicing these few simple tips should help you form a closer attachment to your baby that will help to lay the foundation for him or her to grow into the secure, independent adult you desire.

Disclaimer: *This article is not meant to diagnose, treat or cure any kind of a health problem. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Always consult with your health care provider about any kind of a health problem and especially before beginning any kind of an exercise routine.

 

By Connie Limon