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Positive Attitude April 9, 2008

Filed under: Tips — sarah @ 12:57 pm

How can anyone be positive when things are going wrong? Your life is in shambles and you are unable to pick yourself and move forward. Today the world is faced with a financial crisis and people are stressed and anxious. I believe that cultivating a positive attitude will help people to move forward and relieve themselves of some of the uncertainty.

Positive attitude is a state of mind. It is when someone is hopeful and looks at the bright side of things even when the situation looks bleak and dismal. It enables a person to believe in himself/herself.

Because of my brain damage, learning simple things is challenging. My early years at school were a big struggle. I spent hours with homework. Things that should have been completed in half an hour took three hours. My parents spent hours simplifying concepts so that I understand what was being done. Studying for tests meant even more hours and I barely scraped a pass mark. Those marks did not reflect the hours I put in to the work. That was enough for me to get down and depressed. The minute my parents saw signs of self pity, they intervened. They encouraged me to celebrate my pass mark and pointed out that I was successful. They made me realize that the long hours paid off. I followed their advice and realized that the self talk was important.

The ability to have those inner conversations boosted my confidence and made me work even harder. Self talk is powerful. My positive thought pattern soon became part of me and that enabled me to overlook every obstacle I encountered. Today, I continue to look at every negative occurrence as a blessing. I seek the lesson from each situation and try to improve. I must admit that it was tough to do initially but with practice, it has become natural.

If a positive attitude has caused me to believe in myself and my limited abilities, it can work wonders for you. Think of being successful and you will work towards success. Obstacles will appear. That is a guarantee. What you do with those obstacles is what will dictate what happens. The first thing that may creep in your mind is that you cannot continue. Replace that negative thought immediately. Replace it with a positive one. The faster you do this, the better off you will be. Create a mental picture of what you want for yourself and follow the path that will lead you to success.

It is also important to surround yourself with positive people and those who want the best for you. My parents and extended family were always there to help me along the way. In like manner the positive people around you can motivate you and pick you up when things are not going the way you planned. When you develop positive attitude you will motivate yourself as well as others. You will have an aura around you that is contagious. You will be full of energy. This energy gave me the push to do well and fulfill my dreams.

What I find extremely helpful is reading inspiring stories. These I find refreshing and they remind me that anything is possible. I try to get rid of the negative in my life; people, thought or thing. Once that is done I feel free and light. I feel energetic and full of life. Positive attitude is a habit. Practise it everyday and it will become normal and part of you.

I did and I truly believe that it is a useful tool in ever person’s life. Walk through every shadow in your life and work your way to the sunlight. I continue to enjoy that sunlight.

By Azeem Kayum


Top 5 Ways To Get Your Ex Back September 1, 2007

Filed under: Tips — sarah @ 7:13 am

You messed up and the woman of your dreams left you. The man you love broke your heart and you have no idea why. With Valentines Day just around the corner you might be remembering the one who “got away”. We’ve all been there, a relationship ends and you are left still longing for your ex. Well there might still be some hope left for you. It may not be fun, and it will require you to put your pride to the side, but if you follow the Top 5 Ways To Get Your Ex Back you might be able to pull it off!

Reach Out!
Do not let the lines of communication between you and your ex end, they are very hard to regain. With so many methods of communication there is no excuse for not keeping in touch. A simple phone call, email or letter to say hi and see how things are going is a good way to show that you still care and are interested. If the two of you are able to remain friends, it is much easier to remind your ex of the good times you had together and let them know you are there for the long run. Note: There is a fine line between remaining friends and becoming a stalker. Do not keep pushing your ex, know that no means no! A friend is appreciated and stalker is grounds for a restraining order. Know your limits and know when it is time to cut your losses.

Don’t Play the Field!
You may have some free time on your hands now that you and your significant other are no longer joined at the hip, don’t use this time to expand your little black book. If you are serious about getting back with your ex you need to prove to them that there is no one else for you. It does not help your cause if you are trying to make “fall back” relationships in the meantime. Often times this is hard to explain and very rarely appreciated.

Do NOT Play Games!
This one is hard to follow, it seems to be in everyone’s nature, but do not fall into the trap. Show you ex that you are committed to being and behaving like an adult. That maturity is what a person looks for in a partner and can help you rekindle that loving feeling.

Stay in Shape and Improve Yourself!
Your partner obviously did not want to be with you for a reason. Try and figure out what that reason might be, and if you feel your ex was right, work on improving it. Becoming a lifeless couch potato is not going to make your ex come running back into your arms. Try working on what you like about yourself and getting rid of what you don’t like about yourself. Even if you and your ex don’t work things out, you will have a new and improved persona to woo the world with.

Be Yourself!
We just told you should improve yourself, that doesn’t mean you should lose yourself. Your ex loved you for a reason and that was because you are a unique human being…you might have just had annoying quirks. Work on improving yourself, but don’t try to become someone you are not just to impress a potential suitor. If you do, you are not only setting yourself, but also the relationship, up for disaster. You can only pretend to be someone else for so long before it all comes crumbling down. Save yourself the trouble and learn to love yourself and others will follow along.



Improve Your Memory August 15, 2007

Filed under: Tips — sarah @ 10:37 am

During exams preparation period students need to remember quickly and qualitatively. Good memory here may play the primary role in order to succeed in exams passing.

It is said that there are people with bad memory and there are those who are born with good memory. Indeed some people do not need to get their memory trained, they can remember incredible number of things in details within the shortest time. Others have to spend hours to remember a few terms but cannot succeed yet. However, like any other human abilities the memory can fail its functions if not being trained; and it can be developed and improved due to sufficient training. The first thing you should know about your memory is that you are able to develop it while treating it carefully and courteously.

Memory training exercises include outlining, explanation and discussion. Outlining process can help students break the information bulk into well-planned and clear tasks. Once you have planned how much information you should remember during the estimated time period you do not fear to not pass the exam anymore. The best exams preparation study outlining should include two hours with three breaks of daily study.

During these two hours of study start speaking aloud from time to time, especially while learning terms which are not exactly clear to you. It is a very good practice because you simultaneously involve two memorizing aspects – hearing and watching. Besides, speaking the new information aloud helps their understanding, once you can understand what you are remembering you would never forget it. While speaking aloud you should not only repeat but paraphrase and develop the terms you remember. So, read-repeat-paraphrase-develop exercise gets you involved into four-step memorizing and guarantees you will learn at least half of information.

Discussion is better to be provided just after two hours of study. Have an hour-break and call your friend or classmate to discuss what you have learnt today. Do not stretch your discussion, try to make it short but effective – 30 minutes-discussion would be perfect.

Remember that your memory is the gift given to you by the nature. Students often go mad on training their memory having sleepless nights and fast snacks to save time for memorizing. Good memory is the part of good health. Hamburgers feed your stomach but they do not reach the brain! Eat fruit, vegetables, greens and nuts every day. Sleep for at least eight hours at your last night before exam day.

If your brain is not fed well and it is refused to work freely and independently while you are sleeping you are going to fail your exams.

By Sharon White


5 Signs Of Cheating August 1, 2007

Filed under: Tips — sarah @ 10:45 am

Do you ever wonder if your partner is cheating on you? Do you have a sneaking suspicion he is sneaking around? It can be difficult discovering whether or not your mate is cheating. Here are 5 warning signs to be on the lookout for.

No Conversation
You try to start a conversation with your boyfriend but all you get is one word answers or “not now”. He is cold to you and could care less about your concerns or emotions. He has no interest in talking to you about anything. This is a good sign he isn’t interested in you anymore and might be looking elsewhere for conversation.

Defensive Attitude
Your girlfriend gets very defensive whenever you ask innocent questions about where she has been or who she was talking to. People who are feeling nervous about their cheating will become defensive of normally routine questions and immediately start making accusations themselves. A example would be an innocent question followed by a defensive response:

(Innocent Question) “Hey, who called you when we were at dinner?”

(Defensive Response) “Why do you always have to ask so many questions? Mind your own business.”

Bad Moods
Your girlfriend always seems happy when leaving to go to work or leaving to go anywhere without you. Whenever you two are spending time together she seems miserable and depressed. She never wants to go anywhere with you, she would rather stay home or go out by herself. Constant bad moods whenever you are around is a sure sign something might be going on behind your back.

New Clothes
Your boyfriend buys a bunch of new clothes and starts concerning himself more and more with his appearance. You notice him taking longer than usual to get ready before work, or meticulously adjusting his hair before he “goes out with his friends”. He is constantly checking his appearance whenever he is getting ready to leave the house without you. He is trying to look good for someone, and it isn’t you.

Too Many Lies
You are always catching your girlfriend in lies. She says she went to the office to catch up on work, but you find out from a friend she was at the mall. Lies represent a lack of trust and commitment on her part. If the lies keep piling up, you should be concerned she is trying to hide something from you.



How To Be Successful At Interviews July 23, 2007

Filed under: Tips — sarah @ 10:12 am

The key to success is to treat the interview as a project, for which you must gather information, make decisions on feasibility, set objectives, identify the resources needed, draw up a plan of action, and manage the project carefully through to closure. In simple terms, you must be professionally prepared for the interview, in order to have the optimum chance of success.

Here is list of actions that you should carry out in order to be fully prepared. Gather information about the recruiting organisation (this includes your present employer if it is an internal interview): before you decide whether to attend the interview, it is essential that you gather information about the organisation and analyse this. You need information on its recent and forecast performance, the condition of the business sector in which it operates, and the post that it is offering. If the organisation and sector are healthy, and the post looks secure and has potential, then you can move on to the next stage. If your findings are negative then it is almost certain that the best decision would be to reject the opportunity. You need to gather information about the condition of yourself, looking at how your personal and career plans are progressing, focusing on how the prospects in your current job match with your personal and career objectives, and then how the new post could help you to achieve those objectives.

Decide to attend or not to attend the interview. You need to make an objective decision as to whether taking up this new post is the right decision for you, at this time. Armed with the information that you gathered earlier, you can assess the merits of being appointed to the new post, against staying in your current post, albeit perhaps until a more appropriate opportunity arises, and make your decision confidently. It is, of course, tempting to apply for a job which appears to offer a higher salary, more responsibility, more status, and new directions, and if this is so appealing that you are confident that you can adjust your development plans to match it, and be happy with that decision, then yes, attend the interview and perform to the best of your ability. However, be warned that the interviewers may well reject you because it will become obvious to them that the position they are offering is not a natural fit with your career to date, and worse, they may well ask you how this new opportunity fits with your future personal development plans, and be disappointed with your unconvincing response.

Gather details of the job itself. You need as much information as you can gather about the nature of the job, the role, responsibilities, reporting relationships, location of the workplace, working conditions, and conditions of employment such as working hours, holidays, and corporate policies and procedures that apply to the position. Some of this information will be given to you in the information pack sent to you by the interviewing organisation, or department, but often, sadly, the quality of information sent out is poor. Most professional organisations will have HR departments that will answer your questions on these issues, or pass you on to the appropriate line manager.

Research the interview format: you need to do some basic but essential research on the practicalities of the interview. Again, some of this information will be sent to you. You should be clear about: how to get to the organisation and the specific interview location (don’t rely on asking for this information when you arrive, as this adds to the stress of the occasion); who is on the interview panel (their titles will give you important clues as to their relationships to the post); what format the interview will take (there is nothing worse than arriving expecting a traditional face-to-face interview and finding that it is a day-long series of tests, group activities, and interviews).

Timing of arrival. Make sure that you arrive in good time, allowing time to tidy your physical appearance after your journey, and sufficient time to become calm before the actual interview.

Your appearance. Do not make the mistake of thinking that it is only your history, qualifications, skills, and knowledge that will win you the job. Most other candidates will have similar attributes, so you need to make an impression, to look professional, smart, and appropriate for the post. In many cases, there will have been a previous holder of the post that the interviewers may be using, albeit subconsciously, as a benchmark. You can’t guess what the interviewers want, or don’t want, in terms of physical appearance and personality, but don’t for one second believe anyone that tells you this doesn’t matter (it shouldn’t, perhaps, in certain circumstances, but you are being invited into their world, and they will be looking for someone who they will be comfortable with (even if the role requires you to be an aggressive change-agent). Yes, in some countries there is legislation that says the job should be offered to the most appropriate person, regardless of appearance, but in real life this isn’t what happens. The answer to this dilemma is to research the culture of the organisation that you are joining, so that you are aware of how people, in positions similar to the one you are being interviewed for, dress and behave, and you can comment on or ask questions about this during the interview. However, don’t go to the interview in jeans and t-shirt, even if that’s the day to day standard. You need to look as professional, as serious about obtaining the job, as possible. For men, that almost certainly means a business suit, or jacket and trousers, with or without tie. For women, a business suit or business outfit. For both sexes, smart-casual can be acceptable, if, but only if, it is that type of environment. In most situations, for most posts on offer to professionals, specialists, managers, experts, consultants, a business outfit is expected at the interview, even if, after appointment, they would never again expect you to come to work in anything remotely as formal.

Your approach: in a word – think positively. You are offering your talents, your experience, your time, effort, and energies, to this organisation, and you need to give the impression that you would be a valuable asset that they would be foolish to reject. This doesn’t mean being aggressive, over enthusiastic, pompous, or pretentious, but it does mean showing the interviewers that you are a confident, assertive, pro-active, flexible, professional who would perform successfully if appointed.

Prepare for, and practice answering, the interview questions: think about questions that you are likely to be asked. Brainstorm this with a colleague, friend, or partner, and practice answering. Practice using the interview questions to strengthen your argument that you are the best person for the job. For example, you will be almost certainly be asked about your experience and qualifications, even though this will be shown in your CV. Your response should be phrased in such a way that you relate your experience, knowledge, and qualifications, to the role and responsibilities of the new post, showing how these existing attributes will give you the confidence and skills to successfully handle the tasks that lie ahead. With luck you will not be asked questions such as – What do you think are the main benefits that you could bring to this job, if appointed? However, it still happens, so you must be prepared for them. Again, practice responding in a way which links your experience and existing skills to the demands of the new role. If you are asked – What would you say are your biggest strengths and worst weaknesses? then talk mostly about your strengths, giving examples of how these have been effectively used, and be very, very careful talking about your alleged weaknesses. Choose a relatively harmless weakness that could be interpreted as a strength, such as being over-zealous about quality criteria being met, or insisting on deadlines being met which can upset some team members. Don’t, under any circumstances, negatively criticise your present or past employers, or colleagues. Even if the organisation that you work for is known to have faults or bad practices, don’t criticise it or any personnel within it. This is almost always a fatal mistake. You will almost always be asked some questions about the interviewing organisation. Again, use these as an opportunity to show you have researched the organisation, but also to explore what the organisation is planning (at least in the area that you will be working in), and-or what they are expecting of you. For example, you could mention new markets that the organisation has recently entered and ask if that will impact on the post that you are being interviewed for. If you are asked about hobbies and interests, don’t give a list of twenty, keep it simple and don’t try to impress with esoteric hobbies that you don’t actually have. Imagine saying that you enjoy watching French films and then being asked a question about this, in French, by one of the interviewers who is fluent in the language!

Questions asked by you. Most interviews will close with the interviewee being asked if they have any questions to ask. The answer should always be – Yes. Have two questions ready, and either ask these or ask one of them and one that has arisen because something raised in the interview. Make sure that your questions are ones that reinforce your suitability for the post. You could, for example, ask questions about personal development opportunities, explaining, briefly, what you feel would be a potentially useful development activity (of benefit to you and to the organisation) if you were to be offered the post (this should be an area that you have considered whilst researching the organisation and the job itself).

General behaviour: remember, you are being assessed at all times, possibly from when you enter the building and approach the receptionist, certainly from the moment you walk into the interview room to the moment you leave. You must be as natural and relaxed, physically and mentally, as possible, but also professional, polite, and courteous. Never argue, unless you have been given a direct instruction to give your opposing views. Be alert, show an interest in each interviewer as the ask questions, and answer directly to that person, but occasionally look at the others during your answer. In answering questions, don’t be evasive, be confident, and use your answers to demonstrate how you would make a good match for the position on offer.

Final words: as the interview ends, thank the interviewers for their time and questions. Say that you would be very pleased if appointed to the job and that you look forward to hearing from them. Even if you have doubts at that moment, this is a courteous and wise way to end the interview – you may later decide that you would like the job and if you have appeared negative as the interview ended you will have reduced your chances considerably.

In summary, the key to being successful at an interview is to treat it as a project that needs to be planned and executed in as professional a manner as possible. Changing jobs, moving into a new position, changing organisations, changing the direction of your career, perhaps moving into a different business sector, leaving behind friends and colleagues, meeting, working with, managing, new colleagues, is a major change in your life. The interview is your doorway into a new world, into the next stage of your personal development. It is a major event, a major opportunity, and must be treated as one.

By CJ Williams


How to get started on decluttering your home July 22, 2007

Filed under: Tips — sarah @ 10:10 am

Deciding to declutter your house is a pretty big project. How and where to start?

Perhaps you’ve already decided “where”, because one area of your home is crying out for de-junking. No? Then consider which room gives you the most grief. Are you reluctant to let visitors in the kitchen or the living room? Is the back closet an avalanche in ambush? Do you need a backhoe to get to the far side of the garage or basement?

Another way of picking a starting point, especially if you can only work for short periods, is to work on a small, limited area you can finish quickly. Then it won’t overflow into the rest of the house. One drawer, one cabinet, one shelf or one box might be a good choice. You could also divide a larger area into sections or chunks and work on them separately

Once you’ve decided where to work, grab your tools. Most important are containers for the stuff you’ll be moving around. Sturdy cardboard boxes are great for things which will move to other places in the house, or out of the house for recycling or gifting. Big, tough garbage bags for the junk are another essential. You might want gloves if you’re working somewhere dirty or dusty like the attic or basement (and even a dust mask if it’s really bad). And once you’ve decluttered this area you’ll probably want to clean it, especially if there are places which haven’t seen the light of day for some time, so stock up on the cleaning tools and supplies you prefer to use.

Arm yourself with containers for these categories:

  • Trash (actual garbage)
  • Give away (to the thrift store, neighbors, friends or family)
  • Recycle (glass, plastic, paper etc which can be recycled in your community)
  • Sell (if you have things which might be worth something at a garage sale or on eBay. Be practical here, though: most things are not worth the trouble and time to sell them).
  • Elsewhere (things to be kept, but which don’t belong in this area you’re working on)
  • Pending (things you can’t decide about. This should be a VERY SMALL category!)
  • Keep (things which will go back into the space you’ve just cleared out)

When you’re ready, get started. You can check out my other articles and my website for more details, but the basic principle is simple: if you don’t use it, love it, or need it, get rid of it. You get to decide the definitions of “use”, “love” and “need”, in this context.
Once you have some full boxes and bags, don’t let things on their way to the thrift store or the dump hang around too long. Apart from the fact that the boxes of stuff are clutter in themselves, it’s too easy to change your mind and start pulling stuff back out of the box. If you have a lot of boxes, or large furniture to get rid of, some organizations will pick them up, so take advantage of that. Does your community have a day for putting out large items at the curb for pickup? Make sure you use it! Instead of piling boxes by the door to take outside, take them all the way out to the car so that next time you pass the thrift store they are ready and waiting to be dropped off.By Robin Gray


Conquering Your Fear July 21, 2007

Filed under: Tips — sarah @ 10:05 am

FEAR, is an emotion that leaves no one unscathed, and can hold you hostage in your life. With a Life Tool to help you, you can conquer fear and move forward despite what feelings it may bring up. Any everyone can do this – it is not only for the brave and courageous. This tip or tool helps me every time.

You might be wondering, “How do I conquer my fears?” Well, here are some steps to follow and I guarantee that if you follow them, the outcome will be a whole lot different than just worrying about it and being paralyzed by your situation. This only serves to intensify the fear.

Firstly, identify what it is that you fear. Name it – say it out loud or write it down if you want to. Do whatever it takes to voice this fear. Do not pretend it is not there or that it does not really matter. Next, ask if your fear is stopping you from doing what you want to do and then if so, the best way to start eliminating this fear is by taking one small action. And that is where you tell me; “But how can I take action when I am so fearful, that is why I am not taking action!” It is then time to ask yourself these two questions: (1) What is the worst thing that could happen? And (2) What is the best thing that could happen?

Once the consequences or results of not taking action are clear, you can move onto clarifying possible steps, (no matter how small), that you can take toward doing something about the situation at hand and then DO them. For example, if you fear your electricity getting turned off because you can’t pay the bill, call the Electricity Department, explain your situation and see what solution they can offer you. – Take action! (Don’t you already feel better for doing something – who knows what might come out of one phone call?)

Increase your chances of living successfully by taking control of your fears. Follow the system and if it works for you, repeat it, repeat it, repeat it whenever and wherever fear rears its scary head and take charge.

By Kim Knight