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Paving the Way for Memory Lane March 31, 2007

Filed under: Health — sarah @ 8:40 am

Feeling like the absent-minded professor lately? Here are some memory-improving strategies to keep your brain sharp.

Ginkgo to Think
Ginkgo, the oldest surviving species of tree, has been traced back 300 million years and is one of the most widely studied plants. The leaf of the ginkgo tree is shaped like a human brain, and some believe this is why, in Asia, it has always had a reputation of benefiting the mental processes.

A dwindling memory and decreased concentration is largely caused by decreased blood flow to the brain and loss of brain cells; ginkgo has been confirmed to boost circulation to the brain and other organs, improving memory and cognitive functions. Additionally, ginkgo is used far and wide as a longevity tonic in Asia and Europe.

The best-known and most commonly available form of ginkgo is as teas and herbal extracts, but ginkgo nut, used in the culinary traditions of Asian cultures, also has therapeutic properties and is also said to strengthen lung function.

Mental Gymnastics Keep Your Mind Nimble
It is normal to become more absent-minded as we age, and in fact, most people over the age of 40 experience some memory loss. The most likely causes of a forgetful memory include poor concentration due to brain-chemical imbalance, tiredness, depression, anxiety, and sleep disorders.

If you find you are more forgetful than usual, try these steps and see if there isn’t some improvement in your cognitive clarity:

  1. Get an uninterrupted eight hours of sleep each night.
  2. Do a half an hour of cardiovascular exercise every day, such as brisk walking, slow jogging, biking, or swimming. This will improve circulation and increase blood flow to the brain.
  3. Turn yourself upside down for a couple of minutes daily.
  4. Mental fitness activities are imperative to prevent age-related cognitive decline. Read and learn new things, find new hobbies, do crossword puzzles, add up your bill in your head while shopping, memorize a set of phone numbers forward and backwards; all these can stimulate brain cell activities and in some cases even grow new brain pathways.
  5. Work with your physician to find a supplemental regimen that helps improve your cognitive capabilities. Memory-enhancing supplements and herbs include B-complex vitamins, magnesium, CoQ10, alpha-lipoic acid, fish oil, flax seed oil, Chinese club moss, ginkgo, and ginseng. A supplement that has been well-documented in Europe for reversing age-related dementia and memory loss is phosphatidylserine (PS), a compound made by the body from the amino acid serine. Taken in supplement form, PS lowers stress response and promotes the release of neurotransmitters in the brain that facilitate thought, reasoning, and concentration.

I hope you find your days more memorable for many years to come! I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me.

May you live long, live strong, and live happy!

-Dr. Mao


Easy Tips To Have Happy Relationships March 30, 2007

Filed under: Love — sarah @ 5:34 am

Have you ever dreamed of having a magic to make your love last longer? If there is a magic, love will be all around, no more sorrow. Or maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives or friends. And since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships.

Dates: Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together or playing a game of Euchre.

Space: Give each other some space. Either you trust or you don’t. Get on with life, though. People need time alone and time with their mates and other friends. Be sure to give and take your fair share of space.

Forget: No need to “always” remember the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget” sometimes. Be the first to apologize and make up. Go for it!

Fun: Couple tends to have fun on dates, then get married and too serious. Lighten up. Head to Yahoo Games (off main site) and join in any number of card or other games. Or head to a local rental shop and rent an Xbox or other game player and some games.

Disagree: Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues, and leave it at that. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t have to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay.

Refresh: Take time to look back, refresh your memories and share what brought you together. Especially when times are difficult, lean back and rely on these old memories as your foundation and glue yourselves back together with them (not literally, of course!)

Memories: Make some together. Enjoy special moments, special anniversary dates and events. No need to be elaborate. For example, maybe you enjoyed watching a hot air balloon race one spring day. The next year, you might schedule time to watch it again. Make it an annual event. Collect postcards with balloons on the, playing cards, toss pillows…over time it becomes a theme.

Start now with these simple ideas to keep your relationship with your special person longer. Most important of all, couples can happily stay together as they understand and complete each other.

By Mary Williams


Women who can’t commit?! March 29, 2007

Filed under: Love — sarah @ 4:37 am

By Elina Furman

For years, it was the men who had the monopoly on commitment-phobia. But what about commitment-phobic women? Yes, women! Raised to believe that men are the commitment-shy gender, many women coast through life completely oblivious about their own commitment anxiety—believing they want a relationship yet systematically pushing away one perfectly suitable candidate after another. Isn’t it high time we looked at ourselves and admit that maybe, just maybe, we are the ones who have become commitment-challenged? If you’re ready to finally face the truth, go down the list of these common symptoms and see if any apply.

  • Once the excitement of first romance has passed, you get bored in most of your relationships.
  • You have a habit of dating unavailable men (married, involved with someone else, geographically or emotionally distant, etc.).
  • You have a long and elaborate list of requirements for your ideal mate.
  • You consider your married friends’ relationships boring and feel that many of them have settled for too little.
  • You cultivate larger networks of friends and acquaintances at the expense of romantic relationships.
  • You date more than one man at a time to prevent becoming dependent.
  • You have a difficult time getting over past boyfriends.

By now, you probably have a better idea of where you stand on the commitment meter. If you’re now thinking: “Yep, that’s me,” now what? Is there any hope for getting over these issues? The answer to that is a resounding yes! Here’s how:

Accept your uncertainty
One of the biggest mistakes many of you make is thinking that any uncertainty, however slight, is a sign that your relationship is doomed to failure. You think, “If I’m so confused, that must mean something is wrong with my relationship. Shouldn’t I just know if it’s right?” But indecision and anxiety are a very normal part of making a commitment to someone. If you weren’t a little uncertain, then you’d have something to worry about! Face the fact that there’s never going to be a time when you’re 100 percent certain of anything. So if you’re 80 percent sure that the person you’re with will make a good partner, then that’s all the certainty you’re ever going to get.

Just do it
Once you’ve determined whether you’re 80 percent confident, it may be time to take some good-old fashioned action. Be conscious, be circumspect, and be careful, but take the leap. As with any phobia, we often have to face what scares us the most in order to conquer our fears. So it should come as no surprise that one of the best cures for commitment anxiety is just to make a commitment. And if you make a mistake? Well, so be it. After all, one of the ways we learn to trust our instincts is through hindsight. In the end, following the 80 percent rule will help you take calculated risks, not reckless ones.

Avoid the crystal ball
If you’re on the brink of becoming exclusive, cohabiting, or getting married to someone, it’s all too easy to panic and wonder, “But how will I feel one year, five years, or ten years from now?” After all, people change, right? How do you know you will feel exactly the same way five years from now? The answer is: You don’t! No matter how tempting it is to worry about the future of your relationship, you have to accept that there is absolutely no guarantee that things will work out. Worrying about the future is one way to avoid making a decision. No matter how many psychics or astrologers you visit, no one can tell you what to do with your life or what the future holds. In the end, the best thing you can do is focus on the present. Ask yourself: “Am I getting what I want out of the relationship at exactly this moment?” If the answer is yes (or 80 percent yes), rest assured the prognosis is as good as it’s going to get.

Quit nitpicking
Okay, so men can sometimes act like dominating control freaks, but it’s important to note how often we’re guilty of the same offense. Picking fights, acting moody, and making your partner feel like he’s always doing something wrong is a great way to get someone to break up with you. In fact, that’s exactly what many of you do so you can get out of the relationship or avoid commitment. Many of us commitment-phobes have a perfectionist streak that makes us try to control every aspect of the relationship. Unless our partner fits some preconceived mold, we feel we can’t possibly commit to him. Whether it’s his sloppy ways or inability to dress himself, it can be all too tempting to want to change him or control the relationship. Of course, if you’re not ready to commit, no one will ever be good enough for you. So either accept your partner for who he is or leave the relationship altogether.

Make room
While it’s important to have a full life, many women overdo it. It may be impressive that you have a gazillion friends and unique hobbies, but if you don’t make room in your life for a committed relationship, don’t be surprised if it keeps eluding you. Think of it like this: Once you make room on a table and clear all the stuff away, something new is bound to appear on it. This rule applies to everything. If you’re obsessed with your pet, work 24/7, are absorbed with your children, or are a clutter bug who’s embarrassed to bring people home, you probably don’t have as much time or space for a committed relationship as you think. So if you fit any of these categories, it may just be time to clean up your act and make some physical, emotional, and psychological room in your life.

Elina Furman is the author of Boomerang Nation and other books. After years of personal experience with commitment phobia, she conquered her own fear and now lives with her boyfriend in New York City.

Excerpt from KISS AND RUN by Elina Furman. Copyright © 2007 by Elina Furman. Reprinted by permission of Fireside, an Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.


10 Ways to Heal Spiritually from a Breakup March 28, 2007

Filed under: Love — sarah @ 7:51 am

By Holly Lebowitz Rossi

The end of a relationship is a universally painful and intense experience, one that is followed by a period of mourning and healing. Everyone recovers from a bad breakup differently, but all can benefit from thinking about the process in terms of spiritual healing. So put away that voodoo doll and try these 10 spiritual tips for getting over a breakup and moving on with your life. 

Tip #1: Don’t Blame God

It’s tempting when you have lost a love-even if you were the instigator of the breakup-to channel feelings of loneliness and abandonment toward the heavens, blaming God for bringing you together as a couple only to have the relationship fall apart. In the period just after the breakup, though, try to turn toward God or your higher power for support and direction, rather than turning away from your spiritual self.

Tip #2: Clean Up the Mess

Cleaning house can be a spiritual metaphor for inner cleansing. When you’ve just endured a breakup, that process becomes even more meaningful as you gather up your ex’s clothes, books, music, and other stuff. It might be painful to face the memories that are attached to those things, but once they’re out the door — either in the mail or the dumpster, as the case may be — you’ll be surprised at the refreshing sense of soul-cleanliness that you feel.

Tip #3: Write it Out

After a breakup, the heart and soul often feel overwhelmed with emotions and memories. Pouring your anger, hurt, confusion, sadness, regret, or even relief or apology into a heartfelt letter to your ex is a great first step toward healing yourself of these feelings. Then, make a ritual of getting rid of the letter instead of sending it. Either put it in a special private box, tuck it into a journal, or toss it into a crackling fire.

Tip #4: Try Something New

“Starting over” is a scary phrase associated with the aftermath of a breakup, but it can also be an exciting concept. Take a class to help you learn a new skill or hobby, learn a new language, or consider a new career direction. Trying something new is a way to symbolically demonstrate to yourself that the world is a big place, and new opportunities in life-and love-are always available.

Tip #5: Relish Your Solitude

Being on your own is intimidating at times, but it is also a spiritual gift. Many forms of meditation are practiced in solitude, and practices from yoga to tai chi can also be done solo. Create a space in your home that feels like a sanctuary to you. This will allow you to infuse your alone time with spirituality and remind you of the pleasure of your own company.

Tip #6: Love Your Life

No matter how bleak your life might feel after a breakup, there have to be some positive aspects that you’re not questioning or struggling with. Think about what you love about your life — it can be a meaningful job, a group of supportive, funny friends, a loving family, a comfortable home, anything that simply makes you happy. Make a “gratitude list” and keep it on your night-table or somewhere else nearby so you can look at it instead of glancing wistfully at pictures of you and your ex.

Tip #7: Don’t Be Afraid of Tears

Not to put too fine a point on it, but breaking up is hard to do. Crying is allowed, and so are anger, resentment, and fear about the future. Give yourself permission to fully feel the pain of the loss, because only when you are honest with yourself about your feelings can you begin the healing process.

Tip #8: Take Care of Yourself

The stress of a breakup can leave your body feeling fragile and upset. Tend to your physical well-being to restore your feelings of self-worth, confidence, and attractiveness. Start a satisfying new workout program, cook simple, healthy meals, or treat yourself to a soothing aromatherapy massage to reconnect with your inner beauty.

Tip #9: Believe in Yourself

Breakups aren’t great for the self-esteem. If you did the breaking up, you might feel like a callous jerk. If you were dumped, you might feel un-loveable. Sit down in a quiet place with your journal or a piece of paper and write yourself reminders of what you like about yourself. That’s not to say there aren’t lessons to be learned from every breakup, but you should come away feeling like the good and special person that you truly are.

Tip #10: Begin Again

At some point after your breakup, you will be ready to re-enter the dating scene. Watch your emotions carefully, and your intuition will tell you when you are ready to let go of your past relationship for good and open yourself up to the possibility of finding love again. When you make that decision, you’ll be ready to head out-or online-with a renewed and refreshed spirit.

Holly Lebowitz Rossi is the relationships editor for, the premiere faith and spirituality website. Holly is also a freelance writer, specializing in religion, whose work has appeared in Newsweek, Spa Finder, Sojourners, the Washington Post, and NPR’s “All Things Considered,” among many other publications. Her web site is


101 Stupendous Pick Up Lines March 27, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarah @ 7:27 am

 1. Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

2. Is your daddy a theif? Then who stole the sparkle of the stars and put them into your eyes?

3. Will you go out with me?………. to McDonald’s? +

4. Can I flirt with you?

5. Blonde, James Blonde… Jr. =

6. I looked up the word BEAUTIFUL in the thesaurus taday, and your name was included.

7. I’ve had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So…

 would you please smile for me?

8. Hey, somebody farted. Lets get out of here!

9. You’ve got the whitest teeth I have ever seen!

10. Excuse me, but what pick up line works best for you?

11. Hi, what’s a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

12. Hi, can I buy you a car?

13. Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I please borrow yours?

14. Do you have a boyfriend?

 No?! Well do you want one?

 Oh, you do? Well, when you want a MANfriend, come talk to me!

15. Can I have directions?… to your heart?

16. For a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and  that heaven has been brought to me.

17. Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

18. Hey, don’t I know you? Yah, you’re that girl with the beautiful smile!

19. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look  really bad.

20. Hi, you’re cute!

21. Hi, are you legal? No, your to hot to be legal.

22. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.

23. You know, girls like you give guys like me a reason to live.

24. Even the word Chicka-mama doesn’t describe you! –

25. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

26. Nice socks, can I try them on? +

27. Can I carry your books?

28. Your father must be a drug dealer, cuz you dope!

29. Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth!

30. Your dad must be an awsome baker, because you have rad buns!

31. You know, if I could rearange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

32. Out of curiosity, were you born on a plane? cuz baby, you’re FLY!

33. Hey, what are the chances of a guy like me, picking up a girl like you? +

34. Hi, do you dig guys who use cheesy pick up lines? +

35. Hi, will you reject me if I try and pick you up? +

36. I advise you to surrender imediately or I’ll have to use a pick up line. –

37. If I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! –

38. It’s a good thing I brought my gloves today, other wise you’d be too hot to handle! –

39. Yesterday, I found this magic lamp and I asked the genie to let you to fall in love with me… did it work? –

40. Is your name Gellete? cuz your the best a man can get.

41. So I heard you got the hots for me!

42. Hey, I know you, yah, you’re that girl in the supermarket looking for the jamacan banana! +

43. That’s amazing! You’re eyes are the exact same color as my porche!

44. Are you tired? cuz you’ve been running around in my mind all day!

45. I know milk does a body bood, but how much have you been drinking?!!!!!

46. Are those space pants? cuz your legs are out of this world!

47. It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checkin’ you out!

48. Hey good lookin’, what’s cookin’?

49. See these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! +

50. Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help? (ya kinda need to be at a copy maching for this one)

51. Do you mind if I stare at you up close, instead of from across the room?

52. Hey baby, got any cavities?

53. If I asked you…… would you marry me? +

54. I got a word for you in my secret language, it’s Chicka-mama! –

55. I’ll see you later, I have to pick up my new porche.

56. Are you a model? =

57. Do you want to come over? My mom wants to be the first one to meet the girl of my dreams! +

58. I’m a stud, not a dud! =

59. Hey, I’m writing a love letter to you,  how exactly do you spell BEAUTIFUL? +

60. My heart combination is LOVE! =

61. Wanna get married in the temple? (you sort of have to be Mormons to use this one)

62. My pits say, you smell good! =

63. If it startd to rain, would you come under my unbrella? +

64. Hey, is it hot in here, or it that just you?

65. Am I hot or what?

66. You are beautiful in every language! +

67. If beauty were measured in seconds, you’d be an hour!

68. I thought I’d come over and say hello before you caught me staring.

69. Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

70. So are you ever going to talk to me, or were you just going to continue to stare?

71. You have the academic look I just lust after.

72. You’re cute! Mind if I use you so I can impress my friends?

73. Can I buy you a soda, or do you just want the money?

74. I’ve got a thirst baby, and you smell like my Gatoraid!

75. Nice boots, want a meaningful relationship?

76. What? Do you want one of us to come over there and bite you are something?

77. Hey, I’m bored. Entertain me and I’ll buy you a root beer.

78. You look like the type of girl that has heard every line in the book, so what’s one more?

79. Hi, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you.

80. Hi, all my friend call me sheldon. +

81. Hey, I’m in a rock band! +

82. Hey honey, I got money!

83. Are you Sweadish? cuz you’re the sweetish girl I’ve met!

  – or –        cuz you’re the sweetish fish in the sea!

84. Excuse me, but you owe me a soda! cuz when i saw how beautiful you were, I  dropped mine.

85. How are you? [“Fine”] Darn right you are.

86. My name is Peter Pan, cuz I can take you to Never Never Land.

87. I’m gonna follow you home.

88. You are a cruel thief, cuz you stole my heart!

89. If I followed you home, would you keep me?

90. Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.

91. Are you O.K.? because it’s a long fall from heaven.

92. I’m sorry, I’m an artist and it’s my job to stare at beautiful women!

93. Hey, I’m a professional wrestler, can I get ya in a headlock? Don’t worry, I get paid to  do this! +

94. I know I don’t look like much now, but I’m drinking milk.

95. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

96. You must be from Tennassee! Because you are the only TEN I see!

97. Yo baby, gimme yo digits! +

98.  You know what I think? I think that it is about time you stop ignoring me. Let’s say we engage in a  meaningless conversation… +

99. Hey, can you do me a HUGE favour!? Ask me on a date in front of my friend over there? +

100. Do you alway wear your shoes over your socks?

101. See my friend over there? (he waves sheepishly from afar) Well, he wants to know if  you think I’m cute!


How to Say You’re Sorry March 26, 2007

Filed under: Tips — sarah @ 9:49 am

by Bonnie Burton

So you goofed up. You were supposed to meet him after soccer practice for pizza, but the date totally slipped your mind and you went music shopping at the mall with your friends. Or maybe you insulted the poor guy by telling him that his new band name “The Tongue Depressors” was totally stupid.

Either way, you hurt your honey’s feelings and now you better remedy the situation before it turns into one of those grudges you’ll never shake.

Saying you’re sorry isn’t the easiest thing to do, so here are a few tips on how to apologize to the same guy who brings you flowers when you’re sick.

Be sincere.
Nothing adds more fuel to the fire then an insincere apology. Saying you’re sorry with a shrug of the shoulders and a cold tone is just going to show how much you don’t care about his feelings. How would you like it if he stood you up on a date and then gave you an apology that sounded more like a passing thought than a remorseful confession? You don’t have to beg and grovel, just tell him you’re sorry and mean it.

Walk the talk.
Sometimes saying you’re sorry just isn’t going to cut it. Show him you’re sorry instead of just saying it. Surprise him with a box of his favorite donuts while he’s studying for an exam. If he sees that you’re genuinely upset because of your blunder and that you’re trying to win back his smile, he might be more apt to let you off the hook. However, this doesn’t mean you can buy his forgiveness. So don’t kiss his best friend then buy him a Sonic Youth CD as some kind of forgiveness trade.

Don’t do it again.
If you apologize and say that you won’t make the same mistake again – then don’t. If he’s mad at you for being three hours late for a date, don’t be late again. If you don’t think you can’t stop yourself from doing it again, don’t bother promising him you won’t. Making empty promises as a way to gain back his trust just isn’t cool.

Make your apology mean something.
Apologize for things that actually are your fault. Saying you’re sorry every time the weather ruins your picnic or when he gets the flu is silly and annoying. The more you say you’re sorry for the little things beyond your control, the less importance those words will have when you really do screw up big-time.

Nobody has to be the winner.
Saying you’re sorry doesn’t mean you lose some sort of power in the relationship. It means you messed up and now you want to address it, ask for forgiveness and then move on. Your boyfriend isn’t going to think you’re weak if you admit once in a while that you’re wrong. People who always have to be right aren’t seen as strong individuals. In fact, they’re mostly seen as stubborn, bitter people. Be the bigger person and fess up when you’re wrong, wrong, wrong.


Why Women are Often Attracted to Older Men? (The Sugar Daddy Phenonemon)

Filed under: Life — sarah @ 7:11 am

It’s true to say that many young men, on reaching the age in their lives when pubescence takes control of their lateral thinking, find themselves fantasizing about older females, often twice their own age and upwards. For instance it’s quite common for young men still at school age, testosterone flying everywhere, to have the ‘hots’ for one or more of their female teachers, neighbor’s wife or even a pal’s mother.

The consensus of opinion reached by many is that the attraction by a young male to a more mature woman is based around the fact that she has experience.. a working knowledge of the male anatomy, and a sexual prowess not to be discovered so easily in a younger woman his own age.

Although there are exceptions, in the majority of cases, his secret lusting remains just that, and goes unnoticed by the older female who still regards him as a young student or friend of her son.

However, as the young male grows older, and gains his own level of experience, so his desire for the mature female wanes, and on reaching middle age, will frequently have his head ‘turned’ by a much younger woman.

All this is in stark contrast to the attraction patterns noted in the life of the female of the species. Whereas the young girl, on first becoming sexually aware, will hone her intimacy skill on the younger male, but she will often be less interested in him as she gets older, turning her attention to the more mature men that cross her path. But why is this the case?

The Sugar Daddy Phenomenon, whilst oftentimes the source of amusement for some, can in fact develop into quite a powerful relationship, with loyalty, romance and chivalry being key factors in the union. Many women note that a guy around her own age or younger, will not show her the same level of respect, or pay as much attention to detail that his older counterpart will be inclined to show her.

It’s a valid point that women are more mature than men at any given age, and its not surprising that by the time she reaches her mid-thirties, she already feels more compatible with a male ten or twenty years her senior, and left guys her own age, far behind both mentally and emotionally. Her more mature partner is more equipped to seduce her mind as well as her body. He will be less afraid of displaying public affection, holding her hand or opening doors for her. Happy to allow the whole world see how proud he is to be by her side.

Sexually too, he may not be an athlete between the sheets, yet he will feel the need to ensure his girl is pleasured well as a priority over seeking to satisfy his own desires. Her younger lover will no doubt give her “the best seventeen seconds she’s ever had”, before raiding her fridge in search of a beer. Whereas in the case of her older guy, the foreplay will begin in the restaurant with witty flirting, eye contact and laughter. Later they will enjoy the afterglow together, the passion may have subsided but the emotion still very much alive.

The term ‘Sugar Daddy’ was first used in the early 1920’s and is described in the WordWeb Dictionary as “A wealthy older man who gives a young person expensive gifts in return for friendship or intimacy”. The sugar in this term alluded to the sweetening role of the gifts, and daddy to the age difference between the pair. There is no mention of love, romance or indeed a relationship in the dictionary description of the term, yet it is a fact that women are often attracted, even turned on by men of substance or power. Is it so inconceivable then, that a younger woman could find happiness in a relationship with a guy old enough to be her father, who has so much more to offer her than money and gifts?

By Trevor Taylor