Negative self-beliefs can be anything from, “I’ve had to struggle my whole life to get anything”, “I’m unlucky”, “I’m bad at presenting”, “I’m no good with numbers”, and “I’m terrible in relationships”. Have a think about what negative beliefs you have and write them down. Also, however, write a list of your positive beliefs. Now decide what your top 3 negative self beliefs are, i.e. which ones have held you back the most so far in your life and follow the six steps below to banish your negative self beliefs for good: –
1. Decide what bad effects the negative beliefs are having on your life and how they have held you back in the past. For example, if you have the belief that “I don’t like talking to new people” then think about the times when this has meant that you wouldn’t go to certain parties, or make new friends, etc.
2. Decide now that this is something you want to and can change. Be committed to this decision until you have achieved turning your negative self-beliefs into positive ones.
3. List down what the advantages will be if you don’t hold this negative belief anymore. Think of all the different occasions, scenarios where you will be more readily prepared as a result.
4. Make a list of all the great things that have happened because of you having the positive beliefs that you have noted down.
5. Take each negative self-belief and replace it with the opposite positive belief. For example, as above if your negative belief is, ““I don’t like talking to new people”, then this will now become, “I love talking to new people and really look forward to it”. This now along with your other negative beliefs that you’ve made into positive sentences become your positive affirmations that you need to repeat to yourself out loud for the next month or even longer depending on when you actually start believing it.
6. Look for examples in life, which support your new beliefs like previous successful outcomes, feedback from people, etc. As with our example above, if you don’t like talking to new people now then there must have been occasions or several occasions where you did talk to new people. If you absolutely believe that there are no other past successful occasions to draw on and you have really thought about it then start to instead visualise the new scenarios where you can meet new people. See yourself enjoying talking and being confident and positive around others and focus on how developing new friendships will make your life better.
These life-coaching techniques are a great start for you in banishing negative self-beliefs for good, which hold you back in life and can mean that you don’t go out and get what you really want from the world.
By Rebekah Fensome