It can be hard making friends, and even harder to trust them. If you find yourself in a situation where a friend has seemingly betrayed your trust, follow these steps.
Determine if the whole thing was a misunderstanding. It’s easy to get emotional (positive or negative) with friends and you may have rushed to conclusions. Make sure they really have done something wrong, and, if they have, find if they are apologetic.
- Keep things in perspective. The whole situation may not be as bad as you think. This will make apologies and forgiveness easier to obtain.
- Be willing to forgive despite your anger. Forgive them for not keeping your trust and not knowing how to treat friends. You may need to forgive them, even if they are not sorry for what they did. This is key to getting past your anger towards them and not harboring grudges.
- Consider whether or not you want to maintain a friendly relationship with the person. Many times, a friend that betrays once will do it again. But this is also dependant on the situation and the person.
- If you find that you no longer want to be friends with this person, sever all ties with them. You don’t have to be mean about it. Assuming you followed step 1, they already probably know that you are upset with them. This will make ending your friendship easier.
- If you find that you want to maintain your friendship, make sure the other person understand that you feel they did something wrong and you have forgiven them and want to continue being friends — even if they aren’t remorseful.
- Try to relax and take some time alone. Meditate, shop, dance, do whatever you have to do to make yourself happy. You are more likely to find a worthwhile solution while doing something you enjoy.
- Follow your instincts and past experiences when it comes to trusting people. There are, obviously, some people you can never trust and some people you can.
- If necessary, withhold some parts of yourself so you are not completely open to people. This is a tip of prevention, so you won’t have to go through the trauma of betrayal.
- Human beings are sociable by nature. You cannot live your life without friends, so be very careful not to alienate all of your friends over a simple squable.