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How To Deal With Backstabber May 28, 2007

Filed under: Tips — sarah @ 7:46 am

They might say they’re your ‘best friends’, but the moment your back is turned, they lie about you to others. No one wants to be hurt in this way, but how do deal with them?. Perhaps the following tips can help.

  1. All backstabbers share a common denominator; they all want something from you. Whether it is money, homework, a house to trash, your computer, or practically anything, varies from person to person.
  2. Be aware of your surroundings. If you have a bad feeling about somebody, listen to your instincts!
  3. Pay attention to red flags.
    • If somebody betrays you, don’t trust that person again without extensive consideration.
    • If the other person doesn’t have friends of his or her own, there may be a reason. Perhaps other people know something that you don’t.
    • If someone is mean to you one minute and nice to you the next, there is definitely something wrong.
    • If someone is too aggressive or tries too hard to sell you on something, he or she is likely setting you up.
    • Trust your friends. If they say that somebody is a jerk, believe them.
    • Notice the other person’s work ethic. If he or she is lazy and irresponsible, stay away from the person as far as anything that requires hard work goes. If you work hard, he or she will use you in a heartbeat!
  4. Notice how he treats things you care about. For instance if you really care that your room is clean, and after you explained so to him he comes over, throws his backpack on the ground, takes his shoes off in the middle of the room and so on, that means he doesn’t really care about you.
  5. Try to detect from an early stage is what the backstabber is interested in sucking from you.
  6. If the backstabber persists in pestering you, either ignore him or tell him dispassionately that you do not want to do (insert activity here). Be polite, but extremely firm. If they detect a weakness in your firmness, they will try as hard as they can to puncture it.

Tips

  • Get away from these people as soon as possible and convince others not to associate with them.
  • Don’t hesitate to ask questions. If somebody seems shady in any perspective, ask them about it.
  • There is a difference between friends and acquaintances. This means that even though he might be fun to talk at in classroom or at lunch,he might not be the kind of person you would like to hang out with after school.
  • Don’t rely on the backstabber for anything, even the little things. In this way, you will avoid situations where you owe him/her a favor. This technique takes patience, practice and goes completely against your better nature. The backstabber will get the hint and move on the next sucker/victim.
  • Also do not tell them any secret that you want kept hidden, as they will tell it to another one of their “friends” the moment it will gain them something.
  • Treat him/her like you would any other snake. Be polite when in his/her area, keep to the path, and maintain your distance.
  • Make sure not to reduce to his level by saying untrue and bad things about him behind his back, as it will only spur him to action against you.

Warnings

  • Never let the backstabber know that he/she has gotten to you.
  • Do not underestimate his power. Try not to offend or hurt him, but merely be polite and refute politely anything he asks that you feel you are not willing to give.
  • Do not get angry when he backstabs you. Realize from the start it will happen eventually, so don’t form any deep relationship with him.

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