Do you fear rejection? Are you shy? Does your shyness and fear of getting rejected keep you from having the relationships you want? Are you lonely much of the time?
Although it may sound terrifying, one of the best ways to overcome a fear of rejection is to deliberately put yourself into situations where you get rejected a lot. This strategy is actually used by some therapists who specialize in the treatment of shyness.
Here is a brief summary of steps you can take to overcome your fear of rejection:
– Remind yourself why you want to overcome your fear of rejection. Remind yourself that your goal is to have a happy social life.
– Change what you say to yourself about rejection. Don’t tie your self worth to whether or not you get accepted or rejected by other people.
– Take a series of baby steps when developing new relationships.
– Look for signs of receptiveness in the other person.
– Deliberately set out to collect as many rejections as you can
– When you are out making approaches to other people, tell yourself that it’s just practice, it doesn’t count.
– Make many, many social approaches to other people.
When you let relationships develop slowly, you must still make efforts to approach the other person, but your efforts will be low key and casual, rather than intense.
During each interaction with the person you wish to befriend, notice that person’s body language and facial expressions. Are you getting encouraging smiles and nods? Is that person’s body posture open or closed? Do you sense an eagerness to continue the conversation?
If the other person shows signs of enjoying your company and seems eager to continue your conversations, then he or she will probably be receptive to any overtures you make and any invitations you extend.
When you make many more approaches to other people, you will become more used to interacting with others. You will notice that you will have some successes as well as some failures.
Even very socially successful people get turned down sometimes. They just don’t beat themselves up over it!
They move on quickly to the next person.
You can do the same.
Don’t beat yourself up if it seems someone didn’t like you. Resolve to like yourself, and find the other people that like you too!
By Royane Real